composes haiku for %s
makes the tea for %s
strokes %s's hair
-sprinkles %s with hundreds and thousands.
+sprinkles %s with hundreds and thousands
flagellates %s with a birch branch
<3s %s
admires %s's boots
invites %s to a candle-lit dinner
pole dances for %s
hopes %s packed their toothbrush!
+showers %s in rose petals
+holds a candle for %s
+admires %s's physique
+gives %s a nice relaxing foot massage
+treks through the jungle to deliver Milk Tray to %s
+searches for a rhyme for its poem about %s
+compares %s's eyes to stars
+wonders whether %s comes here often?
+compares %s to a summer's day
+curls up at %s's feet
+plays %s's theme tune
+sends for %s and more golden syrup
+puts %s on top of the Christmas tree
+writes flirts just for %s
+thinks %s is the new hotness
+imagines %s in a sailor outfit
+would like to cause earthquakes with %s
+creates an "I bet we can get a million people who fancy %s" group on Facebook
+becomes a fan of %s
+turns down the house lights for %s
+invites %s up to see its iPad
+can't wait to unbox %s
+dips %s in honey and throws them to the lesbians
+blows %s's vuvuzela
+wonders if %s is multi-touch
+takes photos of %s draped over a sports car
+tips its hat to %s
+would Photoshop %s but they are perfect already
+would betray its country for %s
+creates a dozen extra Twitter accounts just to follow %s
+wears sexy underwear just for %s
+is never gonna give %s up
+wants to FaceTime %s
+spies on %s through their webcam
+dyes its hair for %s
+newgroups alt.fan.%s
+tattoos %s's name on its bottom
+makes a backup copy of %s
+throws itself at %s's feet
+gets its tits out for %s
+buys %s a nice dress
+buys %s a revealing dress
+asks %s out on a date
+posts pictures of %s to rule34.paheal.net [NWS!]
+emails %s its favourite cat pictures
+lends %s all its spoons
+searches the internet for pictures of %s
+writes to Dan Savage for tips on seducing %s
~matthewv / irc.git / blobdiff