new trout from rjk

[irc.git] / flirts

diff --git a/flirts b/flirts
index 0b9e9f783f1f71aecc9976aa946b5ba7d03861a9..26cb33ec24ba5b96189e0ba5ff62e1d281223e03 100644 (file)
--- a/flirts
+++ b/flirts
@@ -76,7 +76,7 @@ turns down the house lights for %s
 invites %s up to see its iPad
 can't wait to unbox %s
 dips %s in honey and throws them to the lesbians
-blows %s' vuvuzela
+blows %s's vuvuzela
 wonders if %s is multi-touch
 takes photos of %s draped over a sports car
 tips its hat to %s
@@ -84,3 +84,45 @@ would Photoshop %s but they are perfect already
 would betray its country for %s
 creates a dozen extra Twitter accounts just to follow %s
 wears sexy underwear just for %s
+is never gonna give %s up
+wants to FaceTime %s
+spies on %s through their webcam
+dyes its hair for %s
+newgroups alt.fan.%s
+tattoos %s's name on its bottom
+makes a backup copy of %s
+throws itself at %s's feet
+gets its tits out for %s
+buys %s a nice dress
+buys %s a revealing dress
+asks %s out on a date
+posts pictures of %s to rule34.paheal.net [NWS!]
+emails %s its favourite cat pictures
+lends %s all its spoons
+searches the internet for pictures of %s
+writes to Dan Savage for tips on seducing %s
+cross-dresses just for %s
+buys a telephoto lens just to take pictures of %s
+offers %s some Madeira
+offers %s a fork
+gives %s a thumbs-up
+goes speed-dating with a dozen clones of %s
+writes a webcomic about the adventures of %s
+dresses up as Batman for %s
+club mammoth for %s.  Ug!
+sexts %s
+defeats all of %s's evil exes
+clones %s's repo
+thinks %s is cuter than all the My Little Ponies put together
+would open the pod bay doors for %s
+takes upskirt photos of %s
+sniffs %s's underwear
+writes thousands of lines of elisp just for %s
+showers %s with porcelain sunflower seeds
+creates a .xxx domain just for %s
+hopes rule 34 applies to %s
+unzips %s
+drives its tractor through %s's haystack
+wonders if %s is single or transferable
+doesn't want any alternatives to %s
+writes 'I <3 U' in weedkiller on %s's lawn