new trout from adam

[irc.git] / flirts

diff --git a/flirts b/flirts
index 27c3ea20db516883aeb6600e53264929f8dc359a..2505b8f7735482e3e0fbc0cde3ea24002681cac0 100644 (file)
--- a/flirts
+++ b/flirts
@@ -297,10 +297,60 @@ compares %s's beauty to that of Helen of Troy
 wonders how many ships %s's face would launch
 hopes %s is highly available
 considers %s wrong but romantic
-sends % s an anonymous Valentine's Day card
+sends %s an anonymous Valentine's Day card
 imagines %s in a nurse's uniform
 asks the pianist to play "As Time Goes By" for %s
 gives %s a cookie
 thinks %s deserves a 21 gun salute
 knocks on %s's door and asks to see their panelling
 discovers an asteroid and names it after %s
+likes the cut of %s's jib
+thinks %s is better than a Kwik-Fit fitter
+wants to watch badgers with %s
+invites %s to one of its bunga bunga parties
+wonders whether %s will go down in the woods today
+offers to show %s where to buy tomatoes
+wolf-whistles at %s
+would still respect %s in the morning
+offers %s the gifts from "The Twelve Days of Christmas", all at once
+sets up a new TLD just for %s
+causes %s's wardrobe to malfunction
+wonders whether %s's deviation is standard
+promises never to trout %s
+invites %s out on an ISO-8601 date
+hopes for an expose event from %s
+sends an expose event to %s
+starts wearing purple for %s
+invites %s to wrestle in custard
+sends the CEN a press release about how %s is wonderful
+commissions Holbein to paint a portrait of %s
+would never put %s in a corner
+promotes %s to Chief Whip
+sets %s up with the second hottest person it knows
+is all about %s's bass
+borrows a thermal imaging camera in order to measure %s's hotness
+considers %s to be one of its five a day
+wonders how many insertions %s is rated for
+covers %s in baby sloths
+throws rocks at %s in order to get their attention
+serenades %s by playing a bottom B-flat on a tuba
+hopes %s isn't non-free
+offers %s sartorial tips from Stephen Gough
+fails to comprehend the difference between innocent flirtation and downright creepiness, causing %s to take out a restraining order
+performs the putty.exe for %s
+removes all the buttons from %s's blouse
+builds a monorail for %s
+wonders whether %s is to be loose or hump shunted
+gives %s head, shoulders, knees, and toes (knees and toes)
+wants to hear what %s got up to at band camp
+spoons %s
+wants to place an unexpected item in %s's bagging area
+puts on its robe and wizard hat for %s
+invites %s over for Netflix and chill
+admires %s's column of excellence
+maximises %s
+substitutes a Class 98 for %s's expected train service
+makes aeroplane nose art of %s
+buys %s a silicone octopus negative
+buys %s a silicone octopus
+proclaims it would walk a thousand miles to fall down at %s's door