hits %s with a wet trout.
thwaps %s with a five-mile-long spacestation.
sacrifices %s to dark gods.
bites his thumb at %s.
replaces %s with a 2-line shell script
takes off and nukes %s from orbit
treats %s with the contempt they deserve
grumbles sonorously at %s
offers %s a one way ticket to Mars
decapitates %s
slaps %s with a wet haddock
plays the xylophone on %s 's kneecaps
lands a minke whale on %s
inverts %s
sends %s to Cuba
searches frantically for %s's brain
introduces %s to their antimatter twin
opens a trapdoor under %s
lands a 10 ton weight on %s
pokes %s with a spoon
hits %s with a squeaky hammer
wonders if %s has a return-to-base warranty
mutters darkly about %s
thwaps %s unimaginatively
staples %s to Gordon Brown's nose
growls at %s
catapults %s over the Atlantic
replaces %s with a papier mache replica
attaches an extra three noses to %s
eviscerates %s with a trowel
annihilates %s
wonders what God was thinking of when He made %s
removes %s from the gene pool
performs a lube-less rectal on %s
uses %s to practice his orthopedic surgery on
thinks %s would make excellent road-kill
plays basketball with %s's head
drops %s down a deep well
covers %s in blancmange
napalms %s
finds %s particularly irksome
feeds %s to his pet dog
reminds %s that life is not a game of Nethack
thinks that %s would give a cannibal nausea
wonders if %s is ever going to become a swan
drops an anvil on %s from a great height
disparages %s's mother
blows raspberries, blackberries and oranges at %s
would eat %s's brains but can't find them
thinks %s could do with less coffee
jumps for joy at the thought of %s
offers %s a bunch of flowers
blows kisses at %s
falls head over heels in love with %s
stuffs %s into a small box and nails down the lid
bites %s's ankles
pulls a moonie at %s
throws %s a bone
invites %s to go jump
invites %s to a party
throws jelly at %s
throws %s from the top of the empire state building
drops a small hydrogen bomb on %s
curses %s unto the seventh generation
asks if %s is a man or a mouse
questions %s's lineage
accuses %s of being a goth
creeps up on %s wielding a crush emasculator
watches %s splashing around in the shallow end of the gene pool