wonders what %s and %s are doing together in a locked room wishes %s and %s would stop doing that in public draws chibi fan art of %s and %s embarks on the Good Ship %s-%s watches %s and %s making the beast with two backs thinks %s/%s is better than Legolas/Aragorn is jealous because %s loves %s instead of itself daydreams about %s and %s's wedding writes plotless smut about %s's steamy secret liaison with %s starts a Yahoo group devoted to Photoshops of %s and %s naked gets horny just thinking about %s and %s together thinks %s and %s should grow old together surrounded by their children wonders who would be the godparents when %s and %s had children wonders who would get pregnant, %s or %s makes LJ banners proclaiming '%s and %s Is Love!' makes animated LJ icons of %s and %s making out wonders how %s and %s got together wonders what %s and %s's friends would think of their relationship writes dirty lyrics about %s and %s sings, "%s and %s, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g" sets %s and %s up on a blind date thinks %s and %s should get a room! watches %s and %s doing things that mtbc would filter mails photos of %s and %s to the News Of The World discovers that %s and %s have starred in hundreds of hard-core pornographic films together wonders whether %s and %s are a good genetic match orders %s and %s to be screened for STIs thinks %s and %s need to find a less creaky bed hopes %s and %s are using appropriate protection gets ideas for new slashes from watching %s and %s thinks %s and %s form a twisted pair threatens to expose %s and %s's illicit affair if they don't pay up lends %s and %s a copy of the "Kama Sutra" shows drawings of %s naked to %s wonders if %s would be %s's deputy prime minister wonders when %s and %s will update their relationship status thinks %s and %s are almost as good together as Cameron and Clegg glues %s to %s watches %s and %s doing things that the IWF would try and ban tricks %s into sleeping in %s's bed casts %s and %s in Romeo And Juliet And Monster Trucks fakes love letters between %s and %s bubblewraps %s and invites %s to start popping creates a .xxx domain just for %s and %s hides %s's ladle in %s's bed posts to twitter about the superinjunction %s and %s have taken out buys %s and %s matching underwear buys %s and %s matching hats kidnaps %s so that %s can rescue them thinks %s is the star in %s's show sells %s to %s introduces %s's and %s's parents to each other thinks %s and %s should have hot monkey sex right now thinks %s and %s should have hot armadillo sex right now thinks %s is the key to %s's lock sells commemorative DVDs of %s and %s's wedding speculates loudly, embarrassingly, and accurately about %s and %s's first night together posts the %s and %s sex tape to Youtube hangs around %s and %s's table playing the violin (badly) listens through the bedroom wall to %s and %s uses %s and %s to explain the facts of life to small children locks %s and %s in a room with no clothes and jar of marmalade thinks %s and %s should leverage their team synergies directs a porno starring %s and %s suggests %s cuddles up to %s wonders if %s and %s have a consensual locking relationship thinks %s and %s should reap their zombie children fakes a SIGURG to %s on behalf of %s thinks %s's output should be piped to %s performs link-time optimization between %s and %s starts a Twitter rumour about %s and %s wishes %s and %s could be together sits %s and %s down on a kissing chair packs %s and %s off for a dirty weekend in Brighton packs %s and %s off for a dirty weekend in Slough pronounces %s and %s man and wife kidnaps a bishop and insists he marry %s and %s in absentia puts %s and %s on adjacent rails entangles %s and %s's wave functions makes a nature documentary about %s and %s's mating habits gives %s and %s half a mouse each sends %s and %s to sea in a beautiful pea-green boat notes %s and %s pushing the newly-amended boundaries of the Obscene Publications Act complains to the Daily Mail about the disgusting things %s and %s get up to (and suggests they publish the pictures) watches %s and %s naked-shorting thinks %s and %s would look good together on a bicycle made for two gives %s and %s a big book of baby names thinks %s and %s should name their first child "Stormageddon" photoshops %s's head onto %s's body applies a fixup to %s and %s