X-Git-Url: http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/ucgi/~matthewv/git?a=blobdiff_plain;f=trouts;h=f9ee90d5211d8c45990b3d99c75598858a918e2f;hb=8f8814a18c98df9b2f8146244ff9574d261387f3;hp=6afd7bf74ff00c187c30d692ffabdb5a8b026c5e;hpb=87ec99267b57227f7fde8d7f85a99140cdcdcfd4;p=irc.git diff --git a/trouts b/trouts index 6afd7bf..f9ee90d 100644 --- a/trouts +++ b/trouts @@ -429,7 +429,7 @@ thinks %s's village is missing its idiot court-martials %s suggests %s stick a pair of underpants on their head and pencils up their nose demands the source code to %s -places four beetles in $s's bed +places four beetles in %s's bed finds %s even less amusing than "your mum" jokes drags and drops %s sets the vermicious knids on %s @@ -608,7 +608,7 @@ causes %s's wardrobe to malfunction multiplies %s by zero divides %s by zero declares %s to be illegal, unworkable, and counter productive -grudgingly conceeds that %s is not as bad as NFS +grudgingly concedes that %s is not as bad as NFS causes "eaten by wolves" to appear on %s's screen makes kittens illegal just to annoy %s books the WBC to protest %s's funeral @@ -649,3 +649,53 @@ calls %s a pleb, then denies ever having done so changes %s's ringtone to "Agadoo" showers %s in unexpected raisins promises not to cancel cuts to the %s budget +takes the sky from %s +nerve-staples %s +distims %s's doshes +claims to be offended by %s and asks them to hide in a corner under a tablecloth +trims %s +sends %s an AOL CD +crimps %s's bottom +offers %s sartorial tips from Michael Portillo +nominates %s for seedy depletion +serves inferior fish to %s +concretizes %s +octofurcates %s +thwaps %s with a SuperFish +wheelclamps %s +dumps a statue of Margaret Thatcher on %s's doorstep +sends %s driving through Argentina in a car with an offensive numberplate +changes %s's password to 'dQw4w9WgXcQ' +marks %s "con sordino" +goes to Buckingham Palace to request that %s be dissolved +removes %s's head, shoulders, knees, and toes (knees and toes) +kippers %s +notes that %s almost makes XML look good +breaks up %s's favourite band +does that thing %s hates +replaces %s with the phrase 'fart fart fart' +outsources trouting %s to Capita +laminates %s +sends %s to trout camp +thinks %s's website is best viewed in lynx +migrates %s's broadband to TalkTalk +blames %s for the next trout +spaghettifies %s +changes %s's phone number to an illegal prime number +assaults %s with a double bass +assaults %s with a single bass +"peacefully liberates" %s +shears %s +attacks %s with a salmon cannon +outsources %s's brain to #chiark +apologizes for the inconvenience caused by %s +operates a %s-free environment, for your comfort and convenience +tars %s +requires %s to submit all their requests for trouts through the service desk +rot13s %s's wibbly bits +rearranges all the cards in %s's wallet +forces %s to revoke all their biometrics +writes an essay entitled "%s Considered Harmful" +gives %s a five-second head start then releases the hounds +adds trouting %s to its service catalogue +adds snitching on %s to its service catalogue