X-Git-Url: http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/ucgi/~matthewv/git?a=blobdiff_plain;f=trouts;h=d7c53be2fd5f2a91b4027b4560b6199659994ce5;hb=997c91a20c2f20f94b367cfbe4dbb1820ae8082d;hp=26a359f337478b7ab0e482777dd9f4e952658cc8;hpb=743b146a9450d80ed4f570b31cc577ead9864468;p=irc.git diff --git a/trouts b/trouts index 26a359f..d7c53be 100644 --- a/trouts +++ b/trouts @@ -10,20 +10,60 @@ offers %s a one way ticket to Mars decapitates %s slaps %s with a wet haddock plays the xylophone on %s 's kneecaps -lands a minkie whale on %s +lands a minke whale on %s inverts %s sends %s to Cuba -searches frantically for %s 's brain +searches frantically for %s's brain introduces %s to their antimatter twin opens a trapdoor under %s lands a 10 ton weight on %s pokes %s with a spoon hits %s with a squeaky hammer wonders if %s has a return-to-base warranty -mutters darkly +mutters darkly about %s thwaps %s unimaginatively staples %s to Gordon Brown's nose -growls +growls at %s catapults %s over the Atlantic replaces %s with a papier mache replica attaches an extra three noses to %s +eviscerates %s with a trowel +annihilates %s +wonders what God was thinking of when He made %s +removes %s from the gene pool +performs a lube-less rectal on %s +uses %s to practice his orthopedic surgery on +thinks %s would make excellent road-kill +plays basketball with %s's head +drops %s down a deep well +covers %s in blancmange +napalms %s +finds %s particularly irksome +feeds %s to his pet dog +reminds %s that life is not a game of Nethack +thinks that %s would give a cannibal nausea +wonders if %s is ever going to become a swan +drops an anvil on %s from a great height +disparages %s's mother +blows raspberries, blackberries and oranges at %s +would eat %s's brains but can't find them +thinks %s could do with less coffee +jumps for joy at the thought of %s +offers %s a bunch of flowers +blows kisses at %s +falls head over heels in love with %s +stuffs %s into a small box and nails down the lid +bites %s's ankles +pulls a moonie at %s +throws %s a bone +invites %s to go jump +invites %s to a party +throws jelly at %s +throws %s from the top of the empire state building +drops a small hydrogen bomb on %s +curses %s unto the seventh generation +asks if %s is a man or a mouse +questions %s's lineage +accuses %s of being a goth +creeps up on %s wielding a crush emasculator +watches %s splashing around in the shallow end of the gene pool