X-Git-Url: http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/ucgi/~matthewv/git?a=blobdiff_plain;f=trouts;h=d55ff43f6ad7dcd5d7c5efd06a8419eb82e7d29d;hb=ace6c0997b23cedf9fdc083aa75280311f3ad5ca;hp=397494a16b42890f87790f97d9532d89bd19fc5e;hpb=76b48de32125340f587ad494363fc2aaec6d4d1f;p=irc.git

diff --git a/trouts b/trouts
index 397494a..d55ff43 100644
--- a/trouts
+++ b/trouts
@@ -256,3 +256,90 @@ sends %s's phone number to twenty double glazing salespeople
 immerses %s's genitals in boiling oil
 writes 'I <3 U' in weedkiller on %s's lawn
 treats %s to 30,000 words on blancmange in popular culture
+vandalises %s's wikipedia entry
+adds #! /usr/bin/perl to the top of %s's python scripts
+pen-tests %s
+steals %s's vital bodily fluids
+hides a bomb in %s's cornflakes
+replaces %s's files with zalgo
+corrupts %s's DNA
+lies in wait for %s with a taser, some rubber tubing and a hacksaw
+shivs %s
+tells the Daily Mail all about %s
+puts a spring-loaded cactus in %s's toilet
+shops %s to the police
+varnishes %s's cake 
+malfunctions and machine-guns %s to death
+disarms %s, and then kills them anyway
+forces %s to sit through a week of compliance training
+blames %s
+challenges %s to a duel
+removes %'s atoms
+removes %'s electrons
+sends %s a SIGINT
+sends %s a SIGKILL
+rents %s's skull to a hermit crab
+unleashes 500 bears on %s
+inserts #! into %s's URL
+reimplements %s in JavaScript
+betrays %s
+disproves %s
+goes to war with %s
+declines %s
+explains the joke to %s at great length
+steals %s's name
+spatchcocks %s
+offers %s a role in its new snuff movie
+fills %s's schedule with pointless meetings
+whispers sweet business jargon in %s's ear
+steals %s's underwear and ebays it
+doesn't see a great need for %s
+edits %s's pants
+posts %s a French letter (used)
+substitutes a Trabant for %s's usual transport
+abolishes %s's human rights
+offers %s the job of Home Secretary
+attacks %s with Ewoks
+irons %s
+runs %s over with a SIGBUS
+ties %s to a sheep and then blows it up
+ties %s to a sheep
+locks %s in a room with a bottle of whisky and a loaded pistol
+beats %s with a SIGPIPE
+excommunicates %s
+anathematizes %s
+releases woodworm into %s's library
+releases Vashta Nerada into %s's library
+shreds %s then recycles the evidence
+sells %s second-hand. For cash
+curries %s
+grinds %s's bones to make its bread
+airbrushes %s out of history
+replaces %s's files with XML
+tases %s
+munmaps %s
+puts a daily "kill %s" event into its calendar
+slights %s
+destroys the world because it has %s in it
+thinks %s fills a much-needed gap
+attempts to underestimate %s but fails
+circulates a pamphlet traducing %s
+fits up %s for the murder of someone photogenic
+scales %s down
+steals %s's immune system
+moves %s's home directory to a tmpfs
+uses %s as a scratch monkey
+denies %s three times
+casually pepper-sprays %s
+sticks an orange on %s's head
+sings the Free Software Song to %s
+immerses %s in Coca Cola
+presents %s with half a mouse
+blames %s for the latest trout
+arranges for %s to be devoured in the night by gerbils
+flattens %s
+bites %s
+nationalises %s
+renormalises %s
+accuses %s of witchcraft
+turns %s into a newt