X-Git-Url: http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/ucgi/~matthewv/git?a=blobdiff_plain;f=trouts;h=d2bfb97396b8df69c457cbae8f321e3868b1ab8c;hb=aad5c196a88d1141e8dc970506766fc71d7ab381;hp=1a8f72f9eed962a403ab08b03bc8ef3136ca204f;hpb=990206a19a29d2eb0b1d09f5c4a553706aec46b6;p=irc.git

diff --git a/trouts b/trouts
index 1a8f72f..d2bfb97 100644
--- a/trouts
+++ b/trouts
@@ -54,7 +54,7 @@ pulls a moonie at %s
 throws %s a bone
 invites %s to go jump
 throws jelly at %s
-throws %s from the top of the empire state building
+throws %s from the top of the Empire State Building
 drops a small hydrogen bomb on %s
 curses %s unto the seventh generation
 asks if %s is a man or a mouse
@@ -355,7 +355,6 @@ assaults %s with Margaret Thatcher's handbag
 LARTs %s
 bustitutes %s
 downgrades %s's A-level results
-admires %s's valves
 forces %s to walk the plank
 maroons %s on a desert island with only eight records and a useless luxury object for company
 creates a black hole and pushes %s beyond the event horizon
@@ -366,3 +365,71 @@ reduces %s to a soup-like homogenate
 asks Vladimir Putin to deal with %s
 thinks up Culture ship names based on %s's love life
 thinks up Culture ship names based on %s's investment strategy
+deconstructs %s
+attributes photos of Greek antiquities to %s and informs the Hellenic Ministry of Culture
+edits all %s's trouts to make them funny
+steals %s's shoes
+ties %s's shoelaces together
+compares %s to a winter's day
+forces %s to wear Princess Beatrice's hat
+sticks a deckchair up %s's nose
+places a PIX between %s and the rest of the world
+sends a person from Porlock to disturb %s
+sends an albatross to disturb %s
+ebays %s, but the reserve is not met
+cancels %s's show
+unleashes a swarm of hungry midges upon %s
+accuses %s of infringing its patents
+installs a lion on %s
+recites Vogon poetry to %s
+suggests that %s sodomise a stegosaurus
+immerses %s's internet connection in treacle
+claps %s in irons
+boxes %s's ears
+dyes %s pink
+performs a citizen's arrest upon %s
+declares %s the weakest link
+declares %s the missing link
+swives %s and bombs the consequences
+drops an F-bomb on %s
+confiscates %s's property and hands it over to SOCA
+sets blue meanies on %s
+clamps down on %s
+rot13s one of %s's files
+gives %s an opportunity to test their backups
+dumps a giant metal gorilla in %s's garden
+sticks %s in a centrifuge
+shuts %s's fingers in a door to see if it hurts
+paints %s purple
+scans %s and shreds the original
+nails %s's head to the floor
+produces an expensive Hollywood remake of %s
+puts the puritans in charge of %s's party
+leaves thumb tacks on %s's chair
+shakes %s's booty
+staples George Osborne to %s's nose
+reads poetry to %s, and then throws them out of an airlock
+waxes %s's bikini line
+sells %s to a patent troll
+autocorrects %s
+executes %s in the background
+makes juvenile jokes about %s's name
+glues Jaffa Cakes to %s's ears
+verbs some nouns just to annoy %s
+appoints Tony Blair "peace envoy" to %s
+resizes %s
+paints %s purple and waits for the goths
+plays the bagpipes at %s
+bricks %s up without a cask of Amontillado
+marries %s just so it can cheat on them
+lobs bricks at %s
+nuisance-calls %s
+belms at %s
+inserts %s into a tin of shoe polish
+thinks %s's village is missing its idiot
+court-martials %s
+suggests %s stick a pair of underpants on their head and pencils up their nose
+demands the source code to %s
+places four beetles in $s's bed
+finds %s even less amusing than "your mum" jokes
+drags and drops %s