X-Git-Url: http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/ucgi/~matthewv/git?a=blobdiff_plain;f=trouts;h=86c2758aacb817465ac463af8e6eeabe0751fdac;hb=ecd020c0e1e220b59875b2d741c2f3867447bcd3;hp=806a900f8c462d75bc2c3c6652d5993813a54486;hpb=87ac0a9978fcdb33c1e4bec246f4d9e11a21dcf5;p=irc.git

diff --git a/trouts b/trouts
index 806a900..86c2758 100644
--- a/trouts
+++ b/trouts
@@ -504,7 +504,6 @@ granulates %s
 removes %s from its Christmas card list
 bulldozes %s's house
 clobbers %s
-thinks %s is only good enough to play for Accrington Stanley
 distributes poisson in %s's direction
 poisons %s
 requests that some friendly bombs fall on %s
@@ -584,3 +583,37 @@ gets Jony Ive to redecorate %s's house
 shuts down all "inessential" government activities and blames it on %s
 refuses to raise %s's debt ceiling
 gives %s a reminder to call the vet
+stores %s in a cool dark place, away from strong odours
+compares %s to the null trout
+folds %s into an elaborate origami representation of nothing
+discovers that %s cannot be repaired using common workshop tools
+decides that %s's genitalia would not be much use as a trout
+cleans %s's clock
+asks %s to quit their jibber-jabber
+sets %s's sticky bit
+eats %s
+drives round in a van telling %s to go home
+darns %s
+refers the castration of %s with a bread-knife to the ethics committee, then ignores their verdict
+thinks %s couldn't fool Baldrick
+believes %s is only half witty
+replaces the GUI on %s's smartphone with a CLI
+changes %s's password to "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn"
+mails %s two hemispheres of plutonium and assembly instructions
+makes %s a plutonium omelette
+punishment-passes %s
+poisons %s's last Rolo
+forces %s to model the Sarah Lund knitwear collection
+leaves %s a card claiming that fish delivery was attempted but they were out
+optimises %s to a NOP
+causes %s's wardrobe to malfunction
+multiplies %s by zero
+divides %s by zero
+declares %s to be illegal, unworkable, and counter productive
+grudgingly conceeds that %s is not as bad as NFS
+causes "eaten by wolves" to appear on %s's screen
+makes kittens illegal just to annoy %s
+books the WBC to protest %s's funeral
+ditches %s's skin
+wonders whether to bother stunning %s
+slave-chips %s