X-Git-Url: http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/ucgi/~matthewv/git?a=blobdiff_plain;f=trouts;h=804bf9e25340e51800d65f8ba69fd15e0fb7d831;hb=a80775e04e568ba23d4c9f453ac25ea195a40e15;hp=169f9786cb52049a1c963ad380c7c5c74327aa10;hpb=7dce16579e0999ae39dcec275efdf3d498d0bcdb;p=irc.git diff --git a/trouts b/trouts index 169f978..804bf9e 100644 --- a/trouts +++ b/trouts @@ -54,7 +54,7 @@ pulls a moonie at %s throws %s a bone invites %s to go jump throws jelly at %s -throws %s from the top of the empire state building +throws %s from the top of the Empire State Building drops a small hydrogen bomb on %s curses %s unto the seventh generation asks if %s is a man or a mouse @@ -405,3 +405,96 @@ scans %s and shreds the original nails %s's head to the floor produces an expensive Hollywood remake of %s puts the puritans in charge of %s's party +leaves thumb tacks on %s's chair +shakes %s's booty +staples George Osborne to %s's nose +reads poetry to %s, and then throws them out of an airlock +waxes %s's bikini line +sells %s to a patent troll +autocorrects %s +executes %s in the background +makes juvenile jokes about %s's name +glues Jaffa Cakes to %s's ears +verbs some nouns just to annoy %s +appoints Tony Blair "peace envoy" to %s +resizes %s +paints %s purple and waits for the goths +plays the bagpipes at %s +bricks %s up without a cask of Amontillado +marries %s just so it can cheat on them +lobs bricks at %s +nuisance-calls %s +belms at %s +inserts %s into a tin of shoe polish +thinks %s's village is missing its idiot +court-martials %s +suggests %s stick a pair of underpants on their head and pencils up their nose +demands the source code to %s +places four beetles in $s's bed +finds %s even less amusing than "your mum" jokes +drags and drops %s +sets the vermicious knids on %s +bashes %s +bites %s's neck +puts jam in %s's printer +delivers seven thousand octopuses to %s +removes all the buttons from %s's mouse +moderates %s +declares %s off-topic +throws a custard pie at %s +fills %s's bath with ducks +parks across %s's driveway +replaces %s with a 1GB shell script +waits until late Friday and then cancels %s's weekend +perforates %s's umbrella +flips %s the bird +turns half of %s's USB sockets upside-down +wishes %s's redshift were higher +gives %s a CD of Richard Stallman's greatest hits +gets %s to serve breakfast to Richard Stallman +invites %s to go forth and multiply, but not in a nice way +/ignores %s +frustrates %s's knavish tricks +confounds %s's politics +indents %s +disperses %s +smashes %s's best china +awards %s the wooden spoon +pops up and insists %s accept its cookies +glues %s to the ceiling +refills all %s's pens with green ink +puts %s into Room 101 +attacks %s with a pointed stick +covers %s in gold paint +sets TV Licensing on %s +appends the EICAR test file to all %s's emails +thinks %s should seek asylum in Ecuador +thinks %s should seek an asylum in Ecuador +thinks %s is only good enough to play for Accrington Stanley +decommissions %s +brings %s the head of Alfredo Garcia +sends the Go Compare man to sing at %s +sets a band of Russian meerkats on %s +sends %s orienteering with only Apple Maps as a navigation aid +blacklists %s +remixes %s into a Youtube sensation +throws a shoe at %s +feeds %s to the lampreys +feeds a surfeit of lampreys to %s +invites %s to consider the reply given in Arkell vs Pressdram +helps %s revoke all their biometrics +paints %s's buttocks blue +classifies %s as spam +trades in %s for a younger model +wonders if there's a cash incentive for scrapping %s +threatens to leave the country if %s wins the next election +invades %s's personal space +sticks %s in a cloud +thinks %s wouldn't need to dress up for Hallowe'en +places mines beneath %s's carpets +demands to see %s's birth certificate +detunes %s +dips %s in engine oil and throws them to the robo-lesbians +abandons %s in the Sahara with only Mark Thatcher for company +accuses %s of piracy, murder, rape, sodomy and incest, but suppresses the more serious charges +cuts and pastes %s