X-Git-Url: http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/ucgi/~matthewv/git?a=blobdiff_plain;f=trouts;h=4e28b82e4fb7f9c2fb82fcc65ffd52b099ce158e;hb=c0d15ea330dea1aa8f20d79a2292b03b02dba484;hp=285c320f06b34f60c7ef2d02fe53c51256c258ac;hpb=ae94efa71d01eba3ba30dd984863333e478a7aa0;p=irc.git

diff --git a/trouts b/trouts
index 285c320..4e28b82 100644
--- a/trouts
+++ b/trouts
@@ -668,3 +668,47 @@ sends %s driving through Argentina in a car with an offensive numberplate
 changes %s's password to 'dQw4w9WgXcQ'
 marks %s "con sordino"
 goes to Buckingham Palace to request that %s be dissolved
+removes %s's head, shoulders, knees, and toes (knees and toes)
+kippers %s
+notes that %s almost makes XML look good
+breaks up %s's favourite band
+does that thing %s hates
+replaces %s with the phrase 'fart fart fart'
+outsources trouting %s to Capita
+laminates %s
+sends %s to trout camp
+thinks %s's website is best viewed in lynx
+migrates %s's broadband to TalkTalk
+blames %s for the next trout
+spaghettifies %s
+changes %s's phone number to an illegal prime number
+assaults %s with a double bass
+assaults %s with a single bass
+"peacefully liberates" %s
+shears %s
+attacks %s with a salmon cannon
+outsources %s's brain to #chiark
+apologizes for the inconvenience caused by %s
+operates a %s-free environment, for your comfort and convenience
+tars %s
+requires %s to submit all their requests for trouts through the service desk
+rot13s %s's wibbly bits
+rearranges all the cards in %s's wallet
+forces %s to revoke all their biometrics
+writes an essay entitled "%s Considered Harmful"
+gives %s a five-second head start then releases the hounds
+adds trouting %s to its service catalogue
+adds snitching on %s to its service catalogue
+follows %s around tolling a bell and crying 'Shame!'
+cancels %s's favorite show, 3/4 of the way through the second season
+hits %s so hard that LIGO notices
+insults %s using the medium of interpretive dance
+comes out of its well to shame %s
+steals %s's skull
+beats %s to death with their own bloody femurs
+kicks %s down some hard stairs
+minimises %s
+deliberately misaddresses %s
+redirects all %s's Wikipedia requests to Conservapedia
+substitutes a Class 99 for %s's expected train service
+sends all %s's coffee to Germany