X-Git-Url: http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/ucgi/~matthewv/git?a=blobdiff_plain;f=trouts;h=21666c1010d17dd93db1701eebb7c590dde7745f;hb=HEAD;hp=b84328785d2a181da55c187252dee67cd15726e4;hpb=d3fb293fbe2df111b8c9166b4fc3e52cd0beb6ce;p=irc.git diff --git a/trouts b/trouts index b843287..16cd801 100644 --- a/trouts +++ b/trouts @@ -474,7 +474,6 @@ brings %s the head of Alfredo Garcia sends the Go Compare man to sing at %s sets a band of Russian meerkats on %s sends %s orienteering with only Apple Maps as a navigation aid -blacklists %s remixes %s into a Youtube sensation throws a shoe at %s feeds %s to the lampreys @@ -517,7 +516,6 @@ sends %s to a shrink shaves %s volunteers %s for a position as gladiator at the Colosseum freezes %s in carbonite -applies a tramp stamp to %s toasts %s proves to a UN inspector that %s is "beyond use" shortens all %s's URLs @@ -777,3 +775,94 @@ donates %s's brain to science converts %s into paperclips hijacks %s's brain for Dogecoin mining flattens, circularises and covers %s in cheese +throws a cloth over %s's cage +loses %s +subjects %s to public inquiry +buries %s in soft peat for three months +sends %s a letter ordering them to leave the country ASAP +threatens to overrule %s +assaults %s in some inventive manner, then requests feedback on their trouting experience +proposes the motion "This channel has no confidence in %s" +chains %s to a block +caches %s's thumbnails +drops six kilotonnes of Marmite on %s +cocks a snook at %s +melts %s down +deletes %s's microbiome +sasses %s +steals %s's mojo +steals %s's mojito +harshes %s's vibe +gives %s negative-utility cake +converts all %s's money into Botcoin +fills %s's car with frozen iguanas +stashes acorns throughout %s's favoured means of transport +bowdlerises %s +abates %s's coat of arms +banishes %s +hands %s a T-shirt +tells Cambridge Analytica everything it knows about %s +shrinks %s's head +sets %s's snails on fire +drops the Tsar Bomba on %s +repeatedly emails %s about its Troutcoin ICO +thwaps %s with IWJ's five-mile-long trout of deprecation +offers %s support via an award-winning ITSM implementation +forces %s to download its new trout app +refactors %s's head +censors %s's cake +repeatedly violates the First Law of Robotics where %s is concerned +sets up a virtual private trout for %s +moves %s aside and applies gzip -9 +uuencodes %s +trees %s +sticks %s's genitals in a wasp nest +attempts to cook a trout in %s's underwear +sets up %s the bomb +delivers unexploded ordnance to %s +fills %s's boot with durian +installs a Java VM inside %s's head +shoots %s's screen +inserts %s into a trout +sends %s to stderr +immerses %s in fifty thousand gallons of grout +suggests %s draw eyes on an empty ice cream tub and wear it on their head +sends %s an HTML-only trout +conceals a small black hole in %s's sock drawer +implements %s in C +approves %s very slowly if at all +puts a bollard up %s's sump +resurrects its favourite trout Antonella and slaps %s with it +plays slap bass with %s +clips %s's wings +sends %s on a camping trip to Isla Sorna +sets 30-50 feral hogs loose in %s's yard +zero-pads %s +wraps %s in JSON +sticks "%s" in air quotes +shares a point with %s +makes a one-fingered gesture at %s +gives %s a three-fingered salute +invites %s to climb a fish ladder +replaces %s's keyboard with an Enigma machine +s/%s//g +containerises %s +recalls %s +folds %s into a paper bag and waits for them to organise their way out of it +sends a fully armed battalion to remind %s of its love +belabours %s with a 500-year-old prestigious sturgeon +sends the fish van to visit %s +side-loads a trout onto %s +hires out a trout to appear on %s's Zoom call +changes %s's name to "Salmon" +sneaks onto %s's roof in the middle of the night and leaves an Austin Seven there +violates international law in its treatment of %s, but only in a limited and specific way +convinces %s that it's not a robot +thwacks %s with a humuhumunukunukuapua'a +places a hard customs border around %s +asks whether %s saw the memo about using the new cover sheets on the TPS reports +replaces %s's toothbrush with a cactus +hires a plane to drop 35,000 fish on %s +mints an NFT of %s, but it only fetches £1.50 +defiles the grave of %s +throws the fishbook at %s