X-Git-Url: http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/ucgi/~matthewv/git?a=blobdiff_plain;f=trouts;h=21666c1010d17dd93db1701eebb7c590dde7745f;hb=89ed2ee50e6a50feab0a1b51c00d4f7525ec1671;hp=a920da4f65c19e2434da9b4a7f49cc198939222a;hpb=81bf7a1c34f2f076b163a78137f93b5d2af72595;p=irc.git diff --git a/trouts b/trouts index a920da4..21666c1 100644 --- a/trouts +++ b/trouts @@ -517,7 +517,6 @@ sends %s to a shrink shaves %s volunteers %s for a position as gladiator at the Colosseum freezes %s in carbonite -applies a tramp stamp to %s toasts %s proves to a UN inspector that %s is "beyond use" shortens all %s's URLs @@ -739,3 +738,84 @@ replaces all of %s's music with copies of Schubert's quintet in A major for pian trout-rolls %s hits %s with a frozen trout audits %s +sits on %s's Jimmy Shands +gets a toddler to shoot %s every week for 2 years +tests whether %s dissolves in aqua regia +marks %s's books +reminds %s that trout means trout +has %s impeached +comments out %s +decides that, from a distance, %s resembles flies +places an elephant in %s's room +accuses %s of violating the rule of tincture +places %s in its basket of deplorables +botsplains the topic to %s +holds %s down with soggy clothes and breezeblocks +recommends replacing %s's head +mistakenly staples a faked-up OCSP unavailability response to %s's nose +vents %s's spleen +corrugates %s +assaults %s with an organic carrot +fills %s's NNTP server with fake news +decides %s deserves an "alternative flirt" +approves use of unnecessary violence in apprehension of %s +debases %s +papers over %s +resolves to visit %s in the middle of the night dressed as Noseybonk +considers %s less interesting than the rear end of a Volvo +forces %s to shake hands with Donald Trump +hashes %s +threatens %s with a trout-replacement bus service +has %s keelhauled +makes %s pick oakum +forces %s to work with the DUP +slaps %s around a bit with U+1F40B +excludes %s's middle +throws a poo out of %s's bathroom window +donates %s's brain to science +converts %s into paperclips +hijacks %s's brain for Dogecoin mining +flattens, circularises and covers %s in cheese +throws a cloth over %s's cage +loses %s +subjects %s to public inquiry +buries %s in soft peat for three months +sends %s a letter ordering them to leave the country ASAP +threatens to overrule %s +assaults %s in some inventive manner, then requests feedback on their trouting experience +proposes the motion "This channel has no confidence in %s" +chains %s to a block +caches %s's thumbnails +drops six kilotonnes of Marmite on %s +cocks a snook at %s +melts %s down +deletes %s's microbiome +sasses %s +steals %s's mojo +steals %s's mojito +harshes %s's vibe +gives %s negative-utility cake +converts all %s's money into Botcoin +fills %s's car with frozen iguanas +stashes acorns throughout %s's favoured means of transport +bowdlerises %s +abates %s's coat of arms +banishes %s +hands %s a T-shirt +tells Cambridge Analytica everything it knows about %s +shrinks %s's head +sets %s's snails on fire +drops the Tsar Bomba on %s +repeatedly emails %s about its Troutcoin ICO +thwaps %s with IWJ's five-mile-long trout of deprecation +offers %s support via an award-winning ITSM implementation +forces %s to download its new trout app +refactors %s's head +censors %s's cake +repeatedly violates the First Law of Robotics where %s is concerned +sets up a virtual private trout for %s +moves %s aside and applies gzip -9 +uuencodes %s +trees %s +sticks %s's genitals in a wasp nest +attempts to cook a trout in %s's underwear