X-Git-Url: http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/ucgi/~matthewv/git?a=blobdiff_plain;f=flirts;h=cda90a7584153506ca73c35a93a9b19ebda21934;hb=1a1569818c6c1453a90cd61de3dd43f972104060;hp=4601a175c61df30cec1a66455499d5f9ff36fc3e;hpb=61a68f2b1ba2adf3f4892eaf323c6a27bf3e5e60;p=irc.git diff --git a/flirts b/flirts index 4601a17..cda90a7 100644 --- a/flirts +++ b/flirts @@ -217,3 +217,70 @@ offers %s a duck gooses %s sneaks into %s's bedroom bashfuly admits its crush on %s +invites %s to join it in the shower +constructs a safe space for %s +wouldn't kick %s out of bed for eating biscuits +buys %s a dress made of bacon +dyes %s pink +buys %s a pony +scans all %s's ports +gets drunk to cope with %s's absence +founds a monarchy in order to renounce its throne for %s +wants to touch %s's base +paints %s purple +touches %s's bum +wants to ring %s's bell +gives %s a kitten +dedicates a sonata to %s +shakes its booty for %s +builds a giant telescope in order to spy upon %s +proposes naming an airport in honour of %s +gets married just so it can be unfaithful with %s +tells %s its password +lubricates itself for %s +copies all %s's mannerisms +practices calling itself "Mrs %s" +compares %s's arse to Pippa Middleton's +honks %s's tits +thinks %s should appear on Page Three +gives %s a token ring +immortalizes %s in song +surveys %s +builds a taller house in order to spy on %s sunbathing +bites %s's neck +wants to view photos of %s on a retina display +trouts everything that isn't %s +learns how to write "I love %s" in Chinese +makes a mix-tape for %s +makes cupcakes for %s +manipulates LIBOR for %s +scatters %s's enemies +votes for %s +tells %s what it wants, what it really really wants +buys %s a bus +wonders if %s is a cunning linguist +sends %s a huge box of chocolates +does a backflip to impress %s +awards %s a gold medal +would pay good money to watch %s play beach volleyball +watches James Bond films to gain tips for seducing %s +optimises %s +thinks %s is too darn hot +names an operating system after %s +wonders whether there are fifty shades of %s +whitelists %s +wants to become overly attached to %s +blows %s's whistle +would carry a watermelon for %s +decides to give %s a ring +orders the latest iPad for %s's birthday present +offers %s a bit of the old in-out in-out +considers %s almost as sexy as an Aston Martin DB5 +tidies %s's living room floor +buys %s a giant rubber duck +sets up %s with its sister +offers %s's father one thousand camels +makes puppy-dog eyes at %s +has %s's enemies shot +sends %s selfies +%s amat