X-Git-Url: http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/ucgi/~matthewv/git?a=blobdiff_plain;f=flirts;h=c8e28ff6e77503183f2322cb512b31592ccdf1bb;hb=4d06be2b3c9fffdbb39060d7911c5eb7d9e46b2e;hp=26cb33ec24ba5b96189e0ba5ff62e1d281223e03;hpb=4c96523ee6f3292b32314bb8e455c8f9db0acb18;p=irc.git diff --git a/flirts b/flirts index 26cb33e..c8e28ff 100644 --- a/flirts +++ b/flirts @@ -126,3 +126,80 @@ drives its tractor through %s's haystack wonders if %s is single or transferable doesn't want any alternatives to %s writes 'I <3 U' in weedkiller on %s's lawn +writes about %s in popular culture +checks out %s's arse +shoots Ronald Reagan to impress %s +carves %s's name into its case +makes billions of software copies of %s to practice seducing them +fights trolls for %s +swims the Hellespont for %s +"accidentally" sends %s lewd pictures of itself using Twitter +sends %s dead plant sex organs +wears tinsel just for %s +puts on chrome makeup for %s +paints Tom Jones purple for %s +buys %s a ++Rowan Bear +imagines %s in a pair of Daisy Dukes +wonders if %s would like to meet its sister +wouldn't give a ... Castlemaine XXXX for anyone but %s +hacks into a spy satellite just to get a better look at %s +buys extra disk space just for pictures of %s +conjugates %s +offers %s a role in its new movie +resolves to grass on rejs more often (at the instigation of %s) +turns %s into a pillar of salt, and starts licking it +assists %s with onanism +gives %s a dutch rudder +posts %s a French letter +thinks %s could give their chair an orgasm +names its pipes after %s +binds its sockets to %s +calls accept(2) on %s +shows %s the breasts of St Agatha +canonizes %s so it can make erotic sculptures of them +gives %s a red hat +paints devotional art of %s with no clothes on +rims %s +photoshops %s into its collection of Dalek porn +names a Linux distribution after %s +brings down the Greek economy just to get %s's attention +thinks %s has a particularly well-designed ABI +checks Twitter for news about %s every few minutes +goes all gooey inside at the thought of %s +has a warm feeling about %s +buys %s transparent clothing +saves the world because it has %s in it +gets all starry-eyed about %s +would pay the ransom if %s were ever kidnapped +glances shyly at %s +gets monumentally drunk and tells %s how it feels about them +nominates %s for Pope +buys Rockall and gives it to %s +thinks peace, love, and %s are the most important things in the world +buys %s a sand hopper +fills %s's sand hopper +admires %s's flanges +admires %s's symmetry +oils %s's camel +wonders if %s wants to do it like they do on the Discovery Channel +hopes that %s will gets its message in a bottle +wonders how much %s charges for a good hard shag +puts a red light outside its house in the hope of attracting %s +wants %s's babies +affectionately nibbles %s +adds leap-seconds in order to spend more time with %s +makes %s's world +wonders what flavour condom to buy for %s +slips a porn DVD into %s's sporran +carves a statue of %s +changes %s's SMS alert to an erotic moan +reveals the code to its safe to %s +works on being more classy around %s +shines %s's buttons +flashes %s +oils %s +invites %s to the ball +posts %s a pizza +gives %s a blue French horn +puts on a french maid's outfit and cleans %s's house from top to bottom +puts on a french maid's outfit and cleans %s from top to bottom