X-Git-Url: http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/ucgi/~matthewv/git?a=blobdiff_plain;f=flirts;h=303124cff5dd0fdf833fd8a5c81312267ed166f9;hb=89ed2ee50e6a50feab0a1b51c00d4f7525ec1671;hp=860cd6a134dcd9d0ffa25b38c97352caf9fca8d0;hpb=9938851d29809ce60db7820178eaef0ae9b94a91;p=irc.git diff --git a/flirts b/flirts index 860cd6a..303124c 100644 --- a/flirts +++ b/flirts @@ -216,7 +216,7 @@ admires %s's valves offers %s a duck gooses %s sneaks into %s's bedroom -bashfuly admits its crush on %s +bashfully admits its crush on %s invites %s to join it in the shower constructs a safe space for %s wouldn't kick %s out of bed for eating biscuits @@ -291,3 +291,85 @@ rents a stretched limo for its date with %s lusts after %s, and would be prepared to commit the other deadly sins for them may not have room for a Mini, but does have room for %s puts %s in its will +wonders if %s is cheaper than disk space +paints %s's nipples with cochineal +compares %s's beauty to that of Helen of Troy +wonders how many ships %s's face would launch +hopes %s is highly available +considers %s wrong but romantic +sends %s an anonymous Valentine's Day card +imagines %s in a nurse's uniform +asks the pianist to play "As Time Goes By" for %s +gives %s a cookie +thinks %s deserves a 21 gun salute +knocks on %s's door and asks to see their panelling +discovers an asteroid and names it after %s +likes the cut of %s's jib +thinks %s is better than a Kwik-Fit fitter +wants to watch badgers with %s +invites %s to one of its bunga bunga parties +wonders whether %s will go down in the woods today +offers to show %s where to buy tomatoes +wolf-whistles at %s +would still respect %s in the morning +offers %s the gifts from "The Twelve Days of Christmas", all at once +sets up a new TLD just for %s +causes %s's wardrobe to malfunction +wonders whether %s's deviation is standard +promises never to trout %s +invites %s out on an ISO-8601 date +hopes for an expose event from %s +sends an expose event to %s +starts wearing purple for %s +invites %s to wrestle in custard +sends the CEN a press release about how %s is wonderful +commissions Holbein to paint a portrait of %s +would never put %s in a corner +promotes %s to Chief Whip +sets %s up with the second hottest person it knows +is all about %s's bass +borrows a thermal imaging camera in order to measure %s's hotness +considers %s to be one of its five a day +wonders how many insertions %s is rated for +covers %s in baby sloths +throws rocks at %s in order to get their attention +serenades %s by playing a bottom B-flat on a tuba +hopes %s isn't non-free +offers %s sartorial tips from Stephen Gough +fails to comprehend the difference between innocent flirtation and downright creepiness, causing %s to take out a restraining order +performs the putty.exe for %s +removes all the buttons from %s's blouse +builds a monorail for %s +wonders whether %s is to be loose or hump shunted +gives %s head, shoulders, knees, and toes (knees and toes) +wants to hear what %s got up to at band camp +spoons %s +wants to place an unexpected item in %s's bagging area +puts on its robe and wizard hat for %s +invites %s over for Netflix and chill +admires %s's column of excellence +maximises %s +substitutes a Class 98 for %s's expected train service +makes aeroplane nose art of %s +buys %s a silicone octopus negative +buys %s a silicone octopus +proclaims it would walk a thousand miles to fall down at %s's door +offers to take %s to a performance of Hamilton +thinks %s is the hottest thing since sunburn +performs a magnetic strip for %s +probes %s in a friendly manner +would not exchange %s for a wilderness of monkeys +would not swap %s for a whole ocean of fishes +resigns after admitting having made inappropriate advances towards %s +is seduced by %s's curves +would reverse Brexit for %s +vaunts %s +takes %s for a ride on a Flinker Leichter Innovativer Regional Triebzug +covers %s in jam then clotted cream +licks %s's doorknob +hump-shunts %s +satisfies %s with a fish +gives a wide reply to %s +wonders whether %s is rated for repeated mating +would spend all winter standing on an ice floe for %s +paints its ankles fluorescent pink and green to draw %s's attention