X-Git-Url: http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/ucgi/~matthewv/git?a=blobdiff_plain;ds=sidebyside;f=trouts;h=8a0af6b4eec13f2819a808862ef01dfaf11578a7;hb=f92d4ae5c67f00eb1f123a1c059a628e30e5c1c3;hp=62caf28186e282efecab5c1d8668d3610044a976;hpb=3c195a2cdb2c49cf2c292458dc9ad5b0fd3be484;p=irc.git

diff --git a/trouts b/trouts
index 62caf28..8a0af6b 100644
--- a/trouts
+++ b/trouts
@@ -590,3 +590,48 @@ discovers that %s cannot be repaired using common workshop tools
 decides that %s's genitalia would not be much use as a trout
 cleans %s's clock
 asks %s to quit their jibber-jabber
+sets %s's sticky bit
+eats %s
+drives round in a van telling %s to go home
+darns %s
+refers the castration of %s with a bread-knife to the ethics committee, then ignores their verdict
+thinks %s couldn't fool Baldrick
+believes %s is only half witty
+replaces the GUI on %s's smartphone with a CLI
+changes %s's password to "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn"
+mails %s two hemispheres of plutonium and assembly instructions
+makes %s a plutonium omelette
+poisons %s's last Rolo
+forces %s to model the Sarah Lund knitwear collection
+leaves %s a card claiming that fish delivery was attempted but they were out
+optimises %s to a NOP
+causes %s's wardrobe to malfunction
+multiplies %s by zero
+divides %s by zero
+declares %s to be illegal, unworkable, and counter productive
+grudgingly conceeds that %s is not as bad as NFS
+causes "eaten by wolves" to appear on %s's screen
+makes kittens illegal just to annoy %s
+books the WBC to protest %s's funeral
+ditches %s's skin
+wonders whether to bother stunning %s
+slave-chips %s
+deposes %s
+gives %s a Brazilian
+deletes %s unread
+sticks a ferret up %s's nose
+buys %s a copy of a Louise Bagshawe novel
+fails to exterminate %s, then blames them for moving the goalposts
+causes the Italian government to collapse and makes %s prime minister
+fragments %s
+disqualifies %s from the human race
+filters all the happy stories out of %s's Facebook feed
+reschedules %s onto a flight to TTD
+performs a machine-gun sonata for %s
+pushes a pineapple in a painful direction for %s
+calls for a government inquiry into %s
+decides %s deserves their own .fish domain
+shares its earworm with %s
+wishes %s would let it go
+demotes %s to Chief Whip
+accuses %s of handling salmon in suspicious circumstances