X-Git-Url: http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/ucgi/~matthewv/git?a=blobdiff_plain;ds=sidebyside;f=trouts;h=7fdb9d4605f05b99b96d6d8283ee9c56251c8522;hb=f5baf639118dfd005d45342c2234a081a4c4dc1e;hp=75594e88eeb09ae4d9bb2f3a3db4afbce11502f8;hpb=426774374f607b0961b9ea30cee0fa8ae4927441;p=irc.git diff --git a/trouts b/trouts index 75594e8..7fdb9d4 100644 --- a/trouts +++ b/trouts @@ -608,7 +608,7 @@ causes %s's wardrobe to malfunction multiplies %s by zero divides %s by zero declares %s to be illegal, unworkable, and counter productive -grudgingly conceeds that %s is not as bad as NFS +grudgingly concedes that %s is not as bad as NFS causes "eaten by wolves" to appear on %s's screen makes kittens illegal just to annoy %s books the WBC to protest %s's funeral @@ -661,3 +661,71 @@ nominates %s for seedy depletion serves inferior fish to %s concretizes %s octofurcates %s +thwaps %s with a SuperFish +wheelclamps %s +dumps a statue of Margaret Thatcher on %s's doorstep +sends %s driving through Argentina in a car with an offensive numberplate +changes %s's password to 'dQw4w9WgXcQ' +marks %s "con sordino" +goes to Buckingham Palace to request that %s be dissolved +removes %s's head, shoulders, knees, and toes (knees and toes) +kippers %s +notes that %s almost makes XML look good +breaks up %s's favourite band +does that thing %s hates +replaces %s with the phrase 'fart fart fart' +outsources trouting %s to Capita +laminates %s +sends %s to trout camp +thinks %s's website is best viewed in lynx +migrates %s's broadband to TalkTalk +blames %s for the next trout +spaghettifies %s +changes %s's phone number to an illegal prime number +assaults %s with a double bass +assaults %s with a single bass +"peacefully liberates" %s +shears %s +attacks %s with a salmon cannon +outsources %s's brain to #chiark +apologizes for the inconvenience caused by %s +operates a %s-free environment, for your comfort and convenience +tars %s +requires %s to submit all their requests for trouts through the service desk +rot13s %s's wibbly bits +rearranges all the cards in %s's wallet +forces %s to revoke all their biometrics +writes an essay entitled "%s Considered Harmful" +gives %s a five-second head start then releases the hounds +adds trouting %s to its service catalogue +adds snitching on %s to its service catalogue +follows %s around tolling a bell and crying 'Shame!' +cancels %s's favorite show, 3/4 of the way through the second season +hits %s so hard that LIGO notices +insults %s using the medium of interpretive dance +comes out of its well to shame %s +steals %s's skull +beats %s to death with their own bloody femurs +kicks %s down some hard stairs +minimises %s +deliberately misaddresses %s +redirects all %s's Wikipedia requests to Conservapedia +substitutes a Class 99 for %s's expected train service +sends all %s's coffee to Germany +thinks %s should resign from UKIP +spiralizes %s +hands %s an ominously ticking box +breaks up the PLP to get rid of %s +has the decency to stab %s in the front +comes to the conclusion that %s can not do the job of prime minister +builds a high wall around %s, then invoices them for construction costs +posts %s's top +posts %s's bottom +thinks %s has the right grasp of nuance and fact to do well in UKIP +holds a referendum on whether %s should leave #chiark +invites Ken Livingstone to speak in defence of %s +plays Freebird at %s +locks %s in a room until they can play Freebird on Expert +replaces %s's computer's startup chime with Freebird +tests %s for bear-resistance +calls for a referendum on %sexit