woos %s on %s's behalf
wonders what's taking %s and %s so long
buys %s and %s matching pyjamas for Christmas
+gives %s the key to %s's chastity belt
+wonders if %s and %s are up for a threesome
+resolves to seat %s and %s together at its next dinner party
+chaperones %s and %s
+negotiates %s's virtue with %s
+checks its logs to see how often %s flirts with %s
+oversees a merger between %s and %s
+gay-marries %s to %s
+thinks %s and %s should have an impulsive moment in a field