hits %s so hard that LIGO notices
insults %s using the medium of interpretive dance
comes out of its well to shame %s
+steals %s's skull
+beats %s to death with their own bloody femurs
+kicks %s down some hard stairs
+minimises %s
+deliberately misaddresses %s
+redirects all %s's Wikipedia requests to Conservapedia
+substitutes a Class 99 for %s's expected train service
+sends all %s's coffee to Germany
+thinks %s should resign from UKIP
+spiralizes %s
+hands %s an ominously ticking box
+breaks up the PLP to get rid of %s
+has the decency to stab %s in the front
+comes to the conclusion that %s can not do the job of prime minister
+builds a high wall around %s, then invoices them for construction costs
+posts %s's top
+posts %s's bottom
+thinks %s has the right grasp of nuance and fact to do well in UKIP
+holds a referendum on whether %s should leave #chiark
+invites Ken Livingstone to speak in defence of %s
+plays Freebird at %s
+locks %s in a room until they can play Freebird on Expert
+replaces %s's computer's startup chime with Freebird
+tests %s for bear-resistance
+calls for a referendum on %sexit