cleanup: provide helpful FILLZERO macro (for certain memset calls)

This macro replaces these idioms:
  memset(&foo,0,sizeof(foo));   =>   FILLZERO(foo);
  memset(foo,0,sizeof(*foo));   =>   FILLZERO(*foo);

This makes it impossible to accidentally get the wrong size.

Use this macro in all such patterns in secnet, apart from two in
site.c which are going to be removed soon anyway.

No intentional functional change.

Signed-off-by: Ian Jackson <ijackson@chiark.greenend.org.uk>