A rock and a hard place? Ministry of Defence | Defence News | MOD confirms loss of recruitment data

[Ian Batten]

On 29 Jan 2008, at 21:51, James Cox wrote:

>>
>> I've told before of the row I had with the NHS about their urge to  
>> talk to my wife about my request for a vasectomy.  By contrast, my  
>> great uncle, who has few relatives, is showing the effects of  
>> several small strokes, is very confused, and is unable to make  
>> decisions about his own care.  Left to his own devices he would  
>> starve in his house (and has already made a fairly good attempt at  
>> doing so).  Does the confidentiality between him and his doctor  
>> trump, you know, caring for him?
>
> I'm a little disturbed that the NHS would be insistent to talk to  
> your wife about the procedure you had (though i think i am more  
> perturbed you wouldn't wish to share it yourself!)

Of course my wife knew, and anyone who's had a vasectomy will know  
that keeping it concealed is kind of tricky.  The guy that did mine  
tries to do it with one incision rather than two, but I still spent a  
day in bed and was off gym for three or four days.

I had the row because it was a matter of principle: I simply asked  
them if they similarly asked women to bring a man with them to sign  
for the pill (I actually made a reference to wives and servants, but  
it went over the doctor's head).  When they got said no, I decided to  
have the full argument.

My accusation was that they were playing a game where women controlled  
their reproductive rights (and fair enough, right on sister), but had  
extended that to their menfolk needing the woman's consent.  They  
denied it, and claimed that they were simply wanting to avoid young  
men having vasectomies and regretting it.  I asked how they would  
verify that a woman I brought along to co-sign it was my partner and  
not a random woman off the street, and they went rather quiet.

My wife didn't sign the form as requested --- indeed, she came along  
for the second appointment and pointedly sat with me while not signing  
the form --- and all went ahead without trouble.  ``No one has raised  
the issue before'', apparently, but a friend reports that within three  
months the forms had been changed.

ian