Gold-plated farts

[Peter Fairbrother]

Gold-plated farts!!!.

Encapsulate your farts in real 24 carat gold.    !!

Easy, convenient, quick.

Retaining its original qualities, your fart is gold-plated within 30 seconds
of release.

Lots of messy chemicals are involved, we can't do it without them. No pain
though, unless you want the cheaper version, which doesn't really hurt at
all :(

Guide price, $1,500 for 5 ml.  We like to discount serial farts, and serious
farters.

Petoo-oops.

(I actually worked out how to do it. Don't know what that says about me.)