uk.people.bdsm FAQ
From: bdsm-faq@chiark.greenend.org.uk (Pallando)
Newsgroups: uk.people.bdsmPallando
Subject: uk.people.bdsm FAQ v0.5 (1/3: Welcome)
Summary: Introduction and index
Expires:
Sender:
Followup-To: uk.people.bdsm
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Organization: Linux Unlimited
Keywords:
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Archive-name: uk/bdsm-faq/part1
Posting-Frequency: monthly
Last-modified: GMT 1998-04-28 22:00:00
Version: 0.5
Maintainer: Pallando
Archive-URL:
Copyright: see ans 0.2
Answers to Frequently Asked Questions on uk.people.bdsm
------------------------------
Subject: 0.0 Introduction.
Hi there. If you are reading this FAQ on u.p.b, welcome to the group.
If you are just skimming this FAQ before posting, and would like your
post to be read and well received, there is information on what sort
of posts are acceptable in answer 7.1.1, and how best to go about
introducing yourself in ans 7.1.7
The information in this FAQ is sorted by topic into sections, and the
best order to read it in will depend on whether you are new to the UK,
the Net or BDSM. If you have read it before, ans 0.1 lists what's new.
Warning: This posting contains material that is both sexually explicit
and complex in nature. If you arn't up to that, go elsewhere.
PART I
SECTION 0 - about this FAQ
PART II
SECTION 1 - about BDSM
SECTION 2 - about the Net
SECTION 3 - about BDSM on the Net
PART III
SECTION 4 - about the UK
SECTION 5 - about BDSM in the UK
SECTION 6 - about the UK on the Net
SECTION 7 - about BDSM in the UK on the Net
Note: The way the sections are split into parts for posting will
determined by the 64K article size limit on some machines.
While this is a draft PART II is being further split when
posted. The full document can be found on the Web at:
------------------------------
Subject: 0.1 What's in this FAQ?
Questions about this FAQ:
0.0 Introduction.
* 0.1 What's in this FAQ?
0.2 Who is responsible for this FAQ?
0.3 How complete is this FAQ and how can I help?
Questions about BDSM:
1.0.0 What is BDSM?
1.0.1 Why do you choose to use the term "BDSM" for that?
1.0.2 What is 'the' Scene? Am I part of it?
1.0.3 What is B&D?
1.0.4 What is D&S?
1.0.5 What is S&M?
1.0.6 What other general BDSM terms are there?
1.1.0 "Safe"
1.1.1 Whips. Floggers. Paddles. Canes. Crops. Hands. Feet.
1.1.2 Restraint. Suspension. Mummification.
* 1.1.3 Gags. Breath control. Sensory Deprivation.
* 1.1.4 Cutting. Burning. Branding. Wax. Electricity.
- 1.1.5 Body modification. Piercings.
1.1.6 Genitorture. C&B. Parachutes. Breasts. Nipple clamps.
- 1.1.7 Scat. Enemas. Watersports. Golden showers. Catheters.
* 1.1.8 Butt plug training. Anal sex. Fisting.
- 1.1.9 AIDS. Safer sex. Cleaning toys. Meeting strangers for the first time.
1.2.0 "Sane"
1.2.1 Why is B&D fun?
- 1.2.2 Why is D&S fun?
1.2.3 Why is S&M fun?
1.2.4 What is 'real' BDSM? Does what I do count?
* 1.2.5 Fetishes. Clothing Care. Gender Play. Shaving.
1.2.6 Is BDSM insane, unnatural or degrading?
- 1.2.7 My fantasies scare me. What if I get too into BDSM?
1.2.8 Negotiation. Emotional safety. Care after scenes. Abusers.
1.3.0 "Consensual"
1.3.1 Safewords. Non-verbal safewords. Implicit safewords.
- 1.3.2 Club and play party rules. Codes. Voyeurs.
- 1.3.3 Pushing limits, expectations and mistakes, mindfucks
1.3.4 Roleplaying. Control. Topping from the bottom.
- 1.3.5 No safeword-scenes. 24/7 relationships.
- 1.3.6 How can I become a better bottom?
- 1.3.7 How can I become a better top?
* 1.4.0 Toys
* 1.4.1 How to make your own. Cheap toys.
- 1.4.2 Stealth toys.
- 1.4.3 Who makes the best quality whips?
[ a long running question never definitively answered :-) ]
- 1.4.4 How 'thuddy' or 'stingy' are floggers made from different materials?
- 1.5.0 People
- 1.5.1 My partner has never tried BDSM. How can I addict hir?
- 1.5.2 My partner isn't into BDSM. Can I go to clubs for non-sexual play?
1.5.3 Oh my god. My mother just looked in my closet. What do I do?
1.5.4 How out do I 'have' to be? SM Pride. BDSM symbols.
- 1.6.0 Information
1.6.1 Books
- 1.6.2 Magasines
- 1.6.3 Films and videos.
Questions about the Net:
- 2.0 I'm not on the Net. What is it? And what are email, news and URLs?
2.1 What are FAQs?
2.2 I'm new to the Net. What should I do? Where can I find out more?
2.3 Why does it matter if I post something to an inappropriate group?
- 2.4 Trolls. Crossposting. Flamewars. Forging addresses.
- 2.5 What is spam? Why is it evil? What should I do about it?
- 2.6 Anonymity. Finger. Net names. Outing. Harassing email.
- 2.7 How do I killfile posters / threads I don't like?
2.8 What can I do if my ISP doesn't take a newsgroup I want to use?
2.9 What is IRC? How do I get onto the different nets?
Questions about BDSM on the Net:
- 3.1.0 What is there about BDSM?
- 3.1.1 Newsgroups
3.1.2 IRC
- 3.1.3 Web sites - pictures
3.1.4 Web sites - stories
* 3.1.5 Web sites - other
- 3.1.6 Muds, talkers, virtual worlds, bulletin boards
- 3.2 Related areas
[ Actually, the whole of section 3 needs thinking about. Ideas anybody? ]
Questions about the UK:
4.0 What is the UK?
4.1 I'm visiting the UK. Have you any advice?
Questions about BDSM in the UK:
5.1 Is BDSM against the law?
5.1.1 Countdown on Spanner
- 5.1.2 "Secret" magasine impounded by Customs
- 5.2 How can I find out about groups, clubs and events in the UK?
- 5.2.1 What's up with Whiplash? Where is the fetish fair / market?
- 5.3 Do contact magasines only list commercial domanitrixes?
- 5.4 Equipment sources. BDSM aware lawyers & other professionals.
* 5.5.0 Play parties
* 5.5.1 I want to throw a play party; how do I go about it.
* 5.5.2 I want to attend a play party; what is the etiquette?
- 5.6 What is the scene like in the UK?
- 5.6.1 Is the UK more like the east or west coast USA stereotype?
- 5.7 What is the history of the scene in the UK? The Hellfire club, etc.
[ Does infomation on Cynthia Payne, etc. belong in the FAQ? ]
- 5.7.1 What is the 'english' vice? Are there still canes in schools?
- 5.8.0 I want to find a play partner. Have you any advice?
- 5.8.1 Advice to men seeking female bottoms.
- 5.8.2 Advice to men seeking female tops.
- 5.8.3 Advice to gay men.
- 5.8.4 Advice to gay women.
- 5.8.5 Advice to straight women.
Questions about the UK on the Net:
- 6.1 How do I get on the Net in the UK?
6.2 Am I still welcome in uk.* groups if I don't live in the UK?
Questions about BDSM in the UK on the Net:
- 7.1.0 The uk.people.bdsm newsgroup
7.1.1 its Charter
* 7.1.2 its History
- 7.1.3 its web site
- 7.1.4 its users
- 7.1.5 its distribution (which providers take it)
- 7.1.6 its munches
7.1.7 Hi, I'm new to this group. What should I do?
- 7.1.8 Quote!
7.2.0 Links - BDSM
7.2.1 UK BDSM Clubs online
7.2.2 UK BDSM Magasines online
7.2.3 UK BDSM Event Listings online
7.2.4 UK BDSM Web sites - other
7.2.5 UK BDSM bulletin boards, talkers, IRC channels, etc.
- 7.3.0 Links - related areas [ The whole of 7.3 needs thinking about. ]
- 7.3.1 Pornography
- 7.3.2 Sex, swingers, personals, polyamoury.
- 7.3.4 TV, TS, fetish fashion, piercing, rituals, paganism, goths, etc.
[ Maybe we should limit it to one link per subject? No idea ]
7.3.5 Liberty. UK anti-censorship campaign. Leydig trust.
- = nobody has volunteered to deal with this subject yet
+ = someone is writing the answer but hasn't submitted it yet
* = subject has been added or altered since last version
------------------------------
Subject: 0.2 Who is responsible for this FAQ?
This FAQ was originally collated by Pallando, and is currently being
maintained by Pallando. The material in it, though, was authored
by the folks on u.p.b, with additional ideas and material from the a.s.b
FAQ (now the s.s.b-b FAQ) by Rob Jellinghaus .
All rights over the material (including copyright) remain with the authors,
except as explicitly granted otherwise. The authors, while attempting to
make their answers reflect the opinion on the group at time of writing,
make no guarantees the information is true, complete, safe or even funny.
For that matter, if you think you have any sort of promise from any past or
present collator, maintainer, *.answers moderator or web archiver, dream on.
That having been said, permission is hereby granted for this material to be
read,
stored on line for uses that are non-profit,
stored off line for uses that are both non-profit and personal,
used (in printed form) as part of peverse and bizzare sexual acts, and
stored on or off line as necessary for usenet distribution and browsing
providing any edits are indicated as such, and this answer is included.
If you are archiving this FAQ on a website, if there are any problems with
its distribution, if you have any material for it, or feedback on it,
please email the maintainer (see email address in 'Maintainer:' header).
------------------------------
Subject: 0.3 How complete is this FAQ and how can I help?
FAQs are living documents, and are never completely finished. You can always
help by spotting errors and emailing the Maintainer with suggested alterations
or additions to current answers. Pointing out new questions that are being
frequently asked on the group, or are likely to be, is also helpful.
In the case of this u.p.b FAQ, the answer is "not at all complete".
It is still in draft stage. That means it is not being archived at mit,
is has not yet been accepted by the moderators of the *.answers newsgroups,
and that it may well be posted more frequently than once a month.
Volunteers are needed to answer most of the questions in parts 2 and 3.
If you have a few spare moments, pick a question, email me so I can mark
it as being handled, then get writing! Your answer does not have to be
complete or perfect, since the group will be able to add corrections once
it is in the next version; any answer at all is useful because it provides
a basis to comment on and refine.
I will also be picking one question per week, and starting a thread on the
group about it. That will be slow if it is the only way answers get filled
in, but I don't feel comfortable starting lots of threads by myself and
appearing to spam the group, so please feel free to start threads on any of
the questions unanswered - the greater the discussion, the better the FAQ.
------------------------------ End of part 1/3