So what is BDSM?

Fun, powerful and magickal.

What do you mean, "you want a proper answer"?

Oh, very well then (*puts on his lecturing tone*)
literally BDSM is a contraction of B&D D&S S&M

Bondage & Discipline

Example
This covers things like handcuffs, ropes, chains, gags, saran wrap, chastity belts - anything that restricts your actions whether physically or mentally.
( Caveat )

Dominance & Submission

Example
Pirates, serving maids, helpless slaves, strict school teachers - any situation where one party is controlling another.
( Caveat )

Sadism & Masochism

Example
Spanking, flogging, caning, whipping, cropping, nipple play, hot wax, cold ice, piercing, branding, cutting - anything that rouses endorphins.
( Caveat )

So BDSM doesn't cover fisting?

Stop dozing, there at the back. Anyone found not paying due attention may be dealt with severely.

That is the literal definition of BDSM. However, what goes on in the BDSM scene is in fact far broader than that.

BDSM can be sensual, sexual, artistic, humerous, healing, magical and magickal. Exactly how it feels will depend on the club, your partner and the tradition you are in.

In particular, BDSM has close ties with

and can, under certain circumstances, be used as a general term to include all of these.

Caveats

Where possible I try to check out the clubs I give information about, and include reviews people send me. I give no guarantees, however, so remember to be

Safe

Most of the time you can just use your common sense. There are a few activities though, such as suspension, tight bondage, gags and breath play where there are specific pit falls you should watch out for. Find an information source you can trust, and watch out for warning signs when playing.
The same goes for S&M, where you need to be careful about electricity play, and how hard some parts of the body can be hit without doing serious damage.

Sane

Whether there is such a thing as 'true' slave relationships is an ongoing debate. The consensus is however, that whether you are doing a once off scene or are in a permanent lifestyle master and slave relationship, it is important that the submissive gets some of what they need. Learn to negotiate out of scene; and, when in scene, spot the signs a relationship is becoming abusive.

Consensual

S&M is different from criminal violence (whatever the opinions of our learned law lords). The most visible difference is consent. Because doing things like roleplaying terrified victims messes up the dictum "NO means NO", players often find it useful to specify a particular safeword that will always mean 'stop the scene'. Common safewords are 'Red' and 'Uncle'.

Further Information

For further information, check out the Alt.Sex.Bondage FAQ

Pallando the Alchemist